Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Dating in China for Travellers Tips
China is the biggest country in the world, and many travellers are supposing to make a living there. Some are working in China, some are only travelling. And how about if we try to find a chinese girls while we are travelling ?
Find a Chinese girl for foreigners is not as hard as others thinks. The problem usually is foreigners usually western, treat Chinese girl as a western girl. They are totally disappointed by the conservative Chinese girl.
Here is one American travelling and working in China, and asking for tips on how to meet women in China.
Question :
As a American, I'm just curious. I will be living in Shanghai for 5 months, and hell! if i can meet a special lady, awesome!
Any tips on how/where to meet women in china? How is dating them different from women of other cultures?
thanks
Answer :
Shanghai is an international city so it will be a lot different than the rest of china, with the excpetion of beijing and a few other major cities.
In other words, you should have no problem finding a girl, compared to, say, the countryside in Hebei. Just be weary of those after a free ticket to the west, or your wallet. They exist and in pretty high numbers. Of course, these girls are all over the world too, of course. Plus, there are a high number of well meaning sweet girls too. Most Chinese girls simply prefer Chinese men because of major culture and language difference and parental pressure, even if the foreigner is very well educated and more handsome. Chinese girls come off as "shy" but I really think it is an act, as they are quite curious, about certian issues. The curiousity deep within is actually very easy to see despite the "conservative" outer shell. The "cute" thing some girls do too, can sometimes just be an act. It seems Chinese boys value "cute" more than almost anything else. They also like pure girls and virgins which is an incredibly lame double standard, considering what some guys do (and guy friends have told me over beer).
Just go to english corners at various universities. Picking up a few numbers each session is a snap and many girls will simply offer numbers without you asking. you can try clubs, but those are maybe more ...uh, temporary and nothing meaningful.
Just be yourself. Chinese women like a humourous man, but not too funny, or you might just be seen as a clown. But the same can be said for any country.
If you pick up a Chinese girl, there will be some difficulty. There are far more men than women, so you will sense some jealousy coming from some ignorant people. (try getting a taxi as a western man with a beautiful chinese girl). Older people will stare too and even despise.
There also seems to be a stigma surrounding western men with chinese gfs. The stigma being that these men could not get gfs in the west so they came to China/asia. There is even a western male in my city who outright despises any western man with a chinese gf, without any other knowledge about the people involved. Quite lame indeed.
Lame, because I have had quite a few lovely gfs in the west (including an amazing 3.5 year relation) so that stigma would never apply to me, and likely, most western males with chinese gfs. In fact, I have no problems in the west. But that is besides the point, because I am not too interested in a Chinese gf now. But I will not let the stigma get to me if I choose a gf here, and neither should you.
Anyways, consider the culture differences too. Are you really ready for a Chinese gf? Really? For me, I am just too open minded I really do think. You'll also miss that mental stimulation because of language barrier and not being able to express views deeply while still being understood. Plus I say whatever the hell is on my mind, which is basically the opposite of this culture, which holds so much in (especially anger (in public). Both ways are not right or wrong of course, but they are indeed black/white. So mentally, most Chinese girls don't want to touch me with a ten foot poll, because I'll just say it if I feel it. I'm not even talking about intelligence at all either, but, I just go against the flow..
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